When to quit and when to fight
A lot of young people ask me for advice on Instagram and I help them privately but I’m going to start publicly addressing things as well for those who may need it but don’t want to ask.
Young man asked me "When will I know I'm at the end and it's time to quit fighting for my dream/relationship/idea/situation?". My answer at first was never give up, but then I decided to give some more realistic advice:
Once you lose the will to fight for it, it could be over.
- When you feel that achieving your dream/idea is no longer your main priority, and you've lost your passion for it, it’s close to being over. When you wake up in the morning and the first thing on your mind isn’t, “what can I do today to achieve my dream?”, it may be over.
- When your relationship/situation is no longer a 50/50 union but it’s more of one partner caring more than the other, it’s headed towards being over. Once you let the mundaneness of being around each other put the spark out, it’s headed toward being over. Once you feel like the attention you receive from your partner isn’t enough and now you’re seeking it from others or your partner lacks interest/support in whatever you’re doing, it’s headed towards being over.
- Now that you have an idea of what the ends looks like, it’s your responsibility to make sure you are doing everything you can to prevent these scenarios. Do not let your passion fade while on the pursuit of achieving your dream. Do not let the relationship get dull and lose it's spark.
- In reality though, God has the final say. What you want for yourself may not be what God has for you. Maybe your dream or relationship isn’t working because God is letting you know that you are thinking too small, or that it's time to move forward and grow, something better is waiting for you. This is why it’s important to be in tuned with your inner self and to keep your spirit clean so you’ll be able to listen and hear God when it’s time to move on or when you should continue to fight. God will give you the signs you need to make your decision.
I was talking to my brother last night and he was telling me how many people do not believe in him. I told him to appreciate that. When people don't believe in you that gives you a infinite amount of motivation. When you lose focus, lose confidence, lose your will to go forward, just think about how many people would be right about you if you were to quit. These people are hoping for your downfall. Don't you dare give them the satisfaction of being right about you. Use their negative energy as a new source of motivation. When you achieve your goals, these same people who didn't believe in you will be drawn to you, and that is because without even knowing it, they helped you succeed.
Quitting is Easy
Earlier today, during my workout, I was doing a pretty tough exercise and I began thinking about how easy it is to just quit. I was hurting, I was sweating, tired and personally I just wanted to stop. If I would have quit, the pain would have ended, but I knew I had to keep going. I endured the pain and continued my workout because I knew that the pain doesn't last and in the end it will make me stronger. We must do the same in life. Things may be hard, things may not be going the way you want them to go, but you cannot quit. You have to continue and fight through the adversity. The adversity you are facing is here to make you stronger. Nothing in life, worth having, is easy. That is why quitting is not difficult to do. Any and everyone can quit, it takes a strong and focused person to keep going. You can't achieve anything, worth achieving, if you quit. School is hard, you can't quit. Your job may be uninteresting or unfulfilling, you can't quit. Your relationship or marriage may be on the rocks, you should not quit. We have to endure and push through the adversity to get to the other side. Trouble doesn't last always, do not take the easy way out. Don't quit!
It Won't Be Long
Life can be difficult at times. Sometimes you will feel overwhelmed, you will have a feeling of 'why me?'. I want you to know that whatever you are going through, it will not last. It won't be long until you are past this and you are living a blessed life. When I entered the draft in April of 2014 and went undrafted, I had to fight to keep myself positive. After 3 months, I finally received a call from an NFL team and got a workout, and ultimately I signed to the team. 90 long days I had to sit and wonder if I was going to be able to live out my dream. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I listened to uplifting gospel music every single day. I read my bible and meditated. I worked out and got ready for my opportunity. I did things to keep my faith strong. You must do that same. You may be searching for a job right now, you may be in college and struggling with your grades. You and your family may be having money issues. You may be going through a rough patch with your significant other. Whatever you are going through, it has to end. Once you are past it, you then have the blueprint so the next time you are going through a trial you know what to do, or you can pass the information on to someone else who is struggling with something. Right now it may seem like you will not make it, but you will, and when you get to the other side of the storm you will look back and realize that it did nothing but make you stronger. Hold on no matter what is going on. It won't be long until its over.
Can You Handle What You Desire
Everyone wants things they do not have. It is common sense because if they had it then they wouldn't be seeking to obtain it. My question is, are you ready for what you are asking for? God knows that answer. Our tongue is the pen of a ready writer, what we say or ask will come to past. We must make sure we are talking positively so that nothing negative will come from the words we speak. We also must make sure we are capable and ready to handle what we are asking for. Everyone wants to be a millionaire but can you manage the money that you have now? If you can't manage thousands of dollars then what will you do with millions? If you cannot keep your modest home clean and running smoothly what will happen when you have a mega mansion? Honestly those aren't things that we even need but some people do desire those things. Instead of asking for our desires, ask God to bring comfort into our life. Being comfortable includes your health and your peace. You can ask God for money but you have to understand the responsibility that comes with that. Know the difference between a need and a desire. The millions of dollars you want is a desire. Being able to pay your rent and live comfortably is a need. Ask God for your needs first and foremost. When you live right and trust God then will he give you the desires of your heart. No matter what you asking for, when you are ready to receive it, God will release it. The best thing to do is to ask God to give you what you need. God knows us inside and out and he will give us what we need and in time he will we also give us what we want.
The definition of endurance is the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way. I love that definition because of the word power. When you endure you have power of whatever situation you are going through. We all must endure something in our lives. Athletes have to endure the hard work that they put in in order to be successful in their sport. Students must endure the many years of required school in order to graduate. But the enduring I am talking about is enduring a tough situation. Most of the time your worst moments are followed by your best moments. You have to endure some pain in order to receive your blessings. Enduring makes you strong, it teaches you lessons. If you have $300 for the entire month, you learn how to live with and mange that amount of money. That teaches you the value of things. You continue to endure that and God will bless you with more. As you receive more, you should remember the values you learned when you had just the $300 a month. God will not give you something unless you are ready, having to endure something will get you ready for whatever is to come.
Love Your Life!
Life is what you make it. The decisions you make everyday shape your life. Whatever happens you have to embrace it and live with it, the good and the bad. The good is the result of the good choices you have made. Working hard in school will ultimately lead to a successful career. Working out and dieting will ultimately lead to a healthy lifestyle and physique. It is easy to love the good things about your life but we must also learn to love the bad. The bad things that happen shapes us. You should learn from every mistake. No one is perfect. The key is to make sure you aren't making the same mistakes repeatedly. If you do not like where you are in life then you must make changes. Use the past to help you shape your future. Use the negative situations that have happened to you as a step stool and do not let them weigh you down. If you want to get somewhere you've never been you have to do things you have never done before. When you focus on being a better person you will begin to have a better quality of life. Loving your life allows you to be happy and also it allows you to do what makes you happy. Love your life!
Think Great While You Wait
Everyone wants to be successful. The key is to not wait until you are successful to think successful. You have to have the mindset of where you want to be even before you are there. This requires faith! If you want to be the VP of the company that you work at, I'm not saying walk around telling people what to do, but you should have the work ethic of the VP. Work with that goal in sight. Everything you are doing will pay off. God will honor the work you put in. Even if you are working with the greatness mentality for an extended period of time and you see nothing happening, you must maintain in the mundane. Everyday will not be a big event, you can't look for that to keep you encouraged. Achieving greatness should be the motivating factor. You are taking a step closer to your blessing everyday that you continue with the right attitude. Doing what is right but having the wrong attitude is counter productive. God wants to see you remain faithful and have the right attitude so he can bless you. God tests us. The bigger the test, the bigger the blessing. You may be waiting for a while but that's because the blessing you are about to receive is bigger than anything you ever imagined. It starts with you thinking it before you see it.
Understand your influence
It doesn't matter what you do, if you are doing something of substance then you will have people looking up to you. They may be younger than you or even older. What kind of influence are you being? The definition of influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something. You must understand that you have the ability to positively or negatively effect the development of someone. Just because someone doesn't tell you that they are watching you doesn't mean they aren't. It may be your friends or even a family member who is watching your every move to see how you handle everyday situations. Are you being the right kind of influence? For some people you are the only influence in their life. Even if you don't want that responsibility, why not help others by living the right way. Something you do today will be imitated in some way in the future by someone. Make sure whatever it is, will have a positive effect on the character of that person. Realize the influence that you have and help as many people as you can.
Be Humble or Be Humbled
Everything that happens in life happens because God allows it. God allows the good and the bad. The good is a reward for our faithfulness and the bad is to help us build our faith. When we receive a blessing we must understand where it came from. If we have a nice job, house, car, spouse, athletic ability, intelligence, good looks, or even great bodily features, we must understand that it came from God, It did not come from us. We may think that we are in control and that we are the reason for our blessings but that is not the case. We are not to brag and boast about the good things that are occurring in our life. Mainly the reason you are being lifted up is because of the humility in your heart. The Bible says to, "humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up". God wants to lift us up and bless us but he will not bless a proud person. I know what I'm saying is not easy to do. It is very easy to let confidence turn into arrogance and you then begin to lift yourself up. No matter how it good things are looking, when you are not humble God will not allow it you to prosper. How ever high we lift ourselves, we will fall. God will humble us and show us that he is in control and that we must trust him and depend on him to lift us up when the time is right. God has a plan for us, we do not know all the details and we should not try and figure it out. When it is your time to be lifted up, it will happen. In the mean time we must remain humble and faithful so that God will indeed lift us up. We cannot fathom the blessing that God has in store for us, we have to live right to receive them. It pays to walk in humility.